A man with his attorney walk into an IRS building to get audited. The auditor looked at the tax payer and said...
... "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time
employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm
not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says the man. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
The man says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
The man removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
The man says, "Now, I'll bet you another thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell this man isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
The man removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost two grand within minutes while the mans attorney is in the room as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" The man asks. "I'll bet you four thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there is no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees to the bet.
The man stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But the mans attorney moans and slaps his hands to his face.
The auditor walks up to the attorney and asks, "Are you okay?"
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when he told me about being summoned for an audit, he bet me ten thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be excited about it."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says the man. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
The man says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
The man removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
The man says, "Now, I'll bet you another thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell this man isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
The man removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost two grand within minutes while the mans attorney is in the room as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" The man asks. "I'll bet you four thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there is no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees to the bet.
The man stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But the mans attorney moans and slaps his hands to his face.
The auditor walks up to the attorney and asks, "Are you okay?"
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when he told me about being summoned for an audit, he bet me ten thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be excited about it."
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