How about three shorter little gems for your Saturday morning?
Dying In Service
One Sunday morning, the pastor... ... noticed little Ronny standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up: stood beside the little boy: and said quietly, "Good morning, Ronny."
"Good morning. Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"
The pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Ronny's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,"Which service, the 8:00 or the 10:30?"
Rock, Paper, Scissors!
The police just pulled me over and said, "Papers?", I said, "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. I think he wants a rematch-he's been chasing me for 45 minutes.
Version 2 of that...
A policeman pulled me over the other day, and he said, "Papers?", to which I replied, "Scissors, I win!" and he said "Rematch time".
This time he picked "Shoot"...
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"