Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

It is time for a two-fer before I disappear into the kitchen.  We're running low-ish on sandwich rolls and I'm really feeling like I need to make a fine Brioche so I can make some proper Barbecue Pork at dinner.  Between that and making more Dog Food, I'll have a busy day.

Oh and I simply didn't "get" the second one until I read it a couple times.  The spelling was atrocious even for US English, but it did make sense then.  This coming from a "Yank" who learned English from BBC World Service on Shortwave in my childhood home in New Jersey and was winning spelling bees all through elementary school.  

Meh, takes all kinds I guess, but education always shines through.



 

A rabbit goes into the job center and says have you got a job for a rabbit?

The manager says we haven't got any jobs for rabbits, and I don't think we'll ever have a job for a rabbit.

The rabbit says do you mind if I come in now and again to see if you've got jobs for rabbits? 
The manager says no problem come in whenever.

Well every morning at 10 o'clock the rabbit comes in and says have you got any jobs for rabbits? 
The manager says there's no jobs for rabbits, and there never will be.

A few days later an American comes into the job center wearing a Stetson looking very important. He says 'you got any rabbits looking for work?' 
The manager is amazed. He says there's a rabbit who comes through that door at 10am everyday who's looking for work. I'm sure he'll be interested.

Anyway next day at 10am the rabbit comes in. The manager says to him you won't believe this. It's finally happened. There's a man here looking for rabbits to employ. I didn't think this would ever happen but it has happened.

The rabbit says what's the job? The American says we're filming Watership Down on Palm Beach, and we're looking for rabbits, just like yourself, to play the parts.

The rabbit says "Acting? Piss off, I'm an electrician."





  The Wrong Profession

A Banker, an Architect, and a Tailor all make it onto a TV game show. The 3 contestants all need to cross a narrow beam that is raised high up into the air. Whoever of the 3 crosses the beam first, wins 1 million dollars. Slip or loose your balance, and you fall nearly 40ft into the water below.

The banker eyes things up then shrugs and says "ya know, honestly I already am a multimillionaire. I know a big risk when I see one so I'm out. I won't be attempting it."

It now moves onto the Architect who starts using their knowledge to think smart. They grab a spare piece of scaffolding, and ties 2 bricks on each end. Holding the pole as low as they can, the Architect was able to make their center of gravity below the balance beam, giving a significant advantage. They slowly and carefully start advancing towards the million dollar price fully aware at what is at stake.

The Tailor sees what the Architect is up to but hesitates and freezes desperately searching for a solution of what to do. As time slips away he sees the Architect moving closer and closer to the prize, realizing he likely cannot make it in time even with a perfect strategy. The Tailor sighs and lowers their head finally admitting, "I'm use to things hanging by a thread, but I just really don't think I'm cut out for this."