Saturday, May 7, 2011

It's My Cube - Humor

I got a laugh out of this when I got it from Velma.  It's nice to see that someone else can write a rant once in a while!  Don't we all love Curmudgeons?

Cube Dwellers Unite, you have nothing to lose but your cardboard walls!

Don't just bust up in here unannounced. Knock on the wall. Don't stick your head around the corner to see if I'm busy. Announce your presence. Don't Just Jump In because you don't See a door.

Don't walk past and ask me who are all the pretty people in my pictures that decorate my desk. First of all, I don't have any ugly Relatives. Second of all, I don't have any ugly Friends. Third of all, what are you doing lolly-gagging around my cube long enough to look at all the pictures that I have anyway? Don't Slow your roll at my cube, Speed it up.

Don't ask me where I got my plants from, my mirror from or my motivational prints from. That means you've been standing there too long, you better keep on walking. In fact, why don't you walk your butt to the nearest Home Depot or Target? You wanna see decorations? Go to the store nearest you!

IT'S MY CUBE! If you see me on the phone, Don't come in. Don't sit in my vacant chair until I'm done talking on the phone. What makes you think I want you to know all my PERSONAL business? I haven't summoned you. I haven't invited you to take a seat. I haven't asked you to laugh along with me at the jokes I tell my Friends on the other line. We Don't need to correspond in person.

Don't listen for noises from My Cube that announce whether I'm Arriving or Leaving. I Hate That! When I get here in the morning, I get here. I don't need you to say Good Morning loud enough so that the whole Department can hear. Why do they need to know that I got here at 8:05, not 8:00 am? And when I get ready to leave, I'm gone. If you hear me taking my bag out of the drawer or zipping up my bag, I don't need you to say Good-bye loud enough so that the whole Department can hear you announce my departure at 4:45 and not 5:00 pm. I Hate That!

Don't think because I have staples, pens and notepads, that Means you can borrow some, I said No the first time. If I say I don't have any, don't walk by to check and see if I'm lying, Even though I am. I just don't want you to have it. Do like I did, walk your butt down the hall to the big Supply Room and get YOU some stuff. What do I Look Like, Office Depot?

Repeat after me:

P.S. And don't be eating snacks out of my desk when I am not here. It is just as bad as eating my food out of the refrigerator.

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