Remember, when you give instructions or directions, be very specific. I write a lot of things, one article a day for the last almost two years plus a lot of correspondence through the day. The technical stuff I try to be completely correct. Sure, I flub the language from time to time, but that's part of writing and it adds a bit of my personal style to it. For technical writing, it is a challenge to hang onto your audience by not boring them as I am doing now, while making sure that the instructions can be followed like a recipe.
... Otherwise you risk being the punchline for a joke.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over --- so now we're going to Sea World."
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