Puns and One Liner Weekend - So Called Humor

Ok, this weekend, I have a LONG list of one liners for you.   Perfect to hand to a kid, they'll keep them entertained for a while... and you'll be hearing them repeated over and over.

Oh and speaking of repeats, since it was SO long a list, I will be doing part two tomorrow. 

So get your Black and White and Read all over newspapery kind of joke fix right here!  
(Yeah that was a lousy one wasn't it?)

You can thank or blame Kevin for this one!

Let the puns begin!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger .
Then it hit me !

Broken pencils...
Are pointless .

I tried to catch some fog .
I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary ?
A thesaurus .

England has no kidney bank,
but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker,
but then I lost interest .

I dropped out of communism class.
Because of lousy Marx .

All the toilets in a New York police station were stolen .
The Police have nothing to go on .

I got a job at a bakery.
Because I kneaded dough .

Haunted French pancakes...
Give me the crepes .

Velcro -
What a rip off !

Cartoonist found dead in home .
Details are sketchy .

Venison for dinner ?
Oh deer !

Earthquake in Washington D.C.
Obviously the government's Fault .

I used to think I was indecisive,
but now I'm not so sure .