How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.

So wake up your sleepy heads.  Or if it is later in the day, kick off your shoes and have a little smile.  It's a Two-Fer today!

 

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A teacher fresh out of the university gets hired to teach a class of 2nd year kids.
On the first day she decides to do a little experiment on the kids.

She stands in front of the class and says, "Would all of you kids, who think they're stupid, please stand up."
No one does except for little Johnny.

"Do you really think you're stupid, Johnny?" asks the teacher.
"No," answers Johnny, "I just don't want you to be the only one standing."

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Larry goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh, no,” exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”