How is the moon like dentures? They both come out at night.

Perfect story for Sunday Morning, a little light blasphemy for the faithful?


 

A Hunter and his Friend

One Friday afternoon, a pair of friends decided to end their work week by going camping. One was a fisherman, and the other was a priest. They had grown apart over the years, yet they always found common ground in getting out in the woods for some camping.

But the fisherman was tired of catching nothing but fish, so for this relaxing trip he thought he'd bring his hunting rifle for a change!

Now, shooting things in the woods wasn't the priest's cup of tea, but he didn't want to ruin his friend's good time. So with their camp all set up, the would-be hunter led his friend down the path to see what he could find.

Before long, a beautiful bird settled on a low branch above the trail. The hunter silently raised his rifle, lined up the shot, and pulled the trigger-- but the darn bullet missed by a mile!

"God dammit, I missed," he muttered as the bird flew off.

The priests eyebrows furrowed in consternation. "Don't use the Lord's name in vain, or He will punish you."

The hunter knew better than to make fun of his friend's faith, so he contained a grumble and moved on down the trail, the frowning priest in tow. Not a minute later, a wild boar came wandering across the path, and the hunter stopped to line up a shot.

But before he could pull the trigger, he carelessly snapped a twig underfoot and sent the startled hog scurrying! His shot got lost in the brush around the boar and he shouted, "God dammit, I missed!"

The priest glowered. "Don't say the Lord's name in vain, or He will punish you!"

The hunter muttered darkly, shouldered his rifle, and started down the path once more, the angry priest a step behind.

Five minutes later, and the friends' tempers had cooled; just in time to witness a majestic stag climb a hill and stare down at his kingdom. The hunter caught his breath. There could be no mistakes with this perfect shot. He lined up his rifle, and still holding his breath, he moved his finger onto the trigger--

A terrible sneeze exploded behind the hunter. The stag bounded away at the earsplitting sound of the priest's outburst.

Desperate, the hunter fired one last shot; and it skittered harmlessly into the grass. "GOD DAMMIT, I MISSED," he screamed in rage.

"That's it," said the priest," I warned you not to use the Lord's name in vain. Now, He shall punish you!"

And the heavens thundered and rumbled with a terrible storm, and lightning flashed down toward the friends...

And struck the priest dead.

From the heavens boomed a mighty voice:
"God dammit! I missed!"