I decided that my statistics joke was too mean.

 Hey, it's Saturday!  Go on!  Go enjoy yourself, it is YOUR day!


Now, I am not going to say "Stop me if you heard this before" because I know I have.  But it is truly a good telling of a familiar story.  So do enjoy!



An 85-year-old man went to his physician for a check-up.

"So, how are you feeling?", the doctor asked him.

"Better than ever," the old man replied. "I have a 20-year old girlfriend, she's pregnant, and our baby will be born soon. So all in all, not bad, Doc!"

The doctor thought for a moment and said: "I'm gonna tell you a story. I knew a man, an avid hunter. 

One day he went hunting and by mistake, instead of a rifle, he took an umbrella with him. 

And so he's walking through the forest, when suddenly a huge bear appeared out of nowhere, and charged right at him! 

The man didn't lose his head, raised the umbrella, pressed the handle, and... the bear fell dead at his feet!”

"Well, that's impossible", the old man objected, "someone else must have shot it at the same time."

"Actually," said the doctor, "that's exactly what I'm trying to get at..."