I'm feeling a little generous this morning. Beans are cooking in the pressure cooker, I'm on my second mug of coffee, just had breakfast. Before I wander off and wake the house up, I have a two-fer for your enjoyment. See if you can figure out the link between the two - and it isn't the cold war scenario videos I watched before sunrise!
Woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written.
The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'.
”Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries.”
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, “In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.’ “
Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral.
As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Tell me, how much did it really cost?”
“All of it,” said Rose. “Fifty thousand.”
“No!” Sadie exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but really… $50,000?!”
Rose nodded. “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church for the priest’s services. The food and drinks were another $500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone.”
Sadie computed quickly. “$42,500 for a memorial stone? Exactly how big is it?”
“Seven and a half carats"