Home Repair and Sourdough Don't Mix

Hey what are you doing?

Getting ready to make bread.

Can you come out and hold the ladder?

Nope, got to make some dough.

You left this out.  What is it?  It smells like beer and looks like wallpaper paste that went bad.

I know, it's resting.

What is resting?

Mother.

Mother what?

Sourdough starter, Mother.  I left it out overnight to "revitalize it".

Why on Earth would you leave wallpaper paste out overnight and how does that make it revitalized.

It's not wallpaper paste, it's Mother.  Mother needed to rest, it was getting a bit flat.

Isn't Mother a "She" and not an "it"?

No, Mother is an It due to the rules of English Language.  Mother is a Sourdough starter.   Remember, yeast plus sugar plus ...

Yeah, wanted to talk to you about that.  You turned the Fridge into a Science Lab.  I need to get the Chicken in there to marinade and you have all this "weird" stuff in there.  Ball Jars with beige and white liquids.  It's going to come to life and ...

It is alive.

...attack me!  What?  Alive?

Mother is alive.  Live yeast and bacteria culture.

Oh GROSS!

Shaddap, you don't like Sourdough anyway and you don't eat the stuff at any rate!

What's this junk anyway?  Looks like...

Yogurt.

Was going to say.

And you don't eat that so put it back.  Tastes great with Cranberry Sauce.

Leave it to you, you're the only person I know who eats Cranberry Sauce in January.

Reminds me, add Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce to the shopping list.  We are down to 1 spare can.

Ugh... ok...
So why are you boiling water?

Because Sourdough takes a solid 24 hours to rise.  I don't want the crust to dry out.   It doesn't get crispy when the top of the dough is dry.

You're going to tie up the oven again I see...

Makes better bread.  Good bread takes time.  Bad bread is "Wonder".

I thought you were going to make bread.  Why are you pouring Mother into the mixing bowl in the sink.

The bowl is clean, I'm going to build the dough in that with the dough hook.  We have the ingredients today.  Shouldn't you be outside painting something?

Yes, and will you come out and hold the ladder?

Are you sure you want me to "hold" the ladder?

Yes, Smarty, hold the ladder.

Ok, But can you go do something somewhere else while I get the dough made up?  One batch, split between Hoagie Rolls and Sandwich Rolls.

Leave it to you.  Little Moose on the Prairie.

We don't live on the Prairie, this is the Tropics.  That reminds me, we need cream, I have to churn butter and make buttermilk for biscuits.  Can you add it to the list?   We'll use the leftover to make Butter Pecan Ice Cream.

*sigh* ok, I'll take the hint.  I'm going out to set up the ladder.   Come out when you can.

Ok.  Didn't want to put you to work or anything.  While you're at it...

*SLAM*