Monday, February 10, 2014

Mmm The House Smells Like A Salad! - Humor

Door opens:

The house smells like a Salad! Were you busy in the kitchen yet again?

Yes I was.

So where is it?

Where is What?

The salad, and what kind is it?

There isn't.

What happened?  I know well enough not to ask "what isn't"!

Come on into the kitchen, said the spider to the fly...

Oh gees, he's quoting parables.  What have you been reading?

Nothing out of the ordinary, just tech manuals.  Would you like to hear about Agile Project Management?

Not particularly, that's your strength.  It does smell like a salad in here.

We need Balsamic Vinegar, lets go to the shops tonight!

What happened to the Balsamic?

You could say I used it to clean the floor.  Did you know that brown fluids that are acidic and look like a generic cola beverage don't clean the floor well?

Yes, I did, especially with tan tile and brown grout.   I take it that it flew well and landed poorly.

Yes, so we need a new bottle with pour spout too.

Ok so now that you drew it out to miminise the impact, how did you break the bottle?

I didn't, the sudden stop at the end usually would ...

Ahh, you accelerated it.

You could say that.  I had just finished mopping the floor too.  Damnit I hate cleaning this floor!

You're evading it but I'm enjoying the story.

I had just put the last of the Holiday Turkey into the oven for lunch.  Turkey Breast with Sylvia's Queen of Soulfood Poultry Rub. You should try it sometime!


When I slammed the door to the oven, the door over the top of the oven opened slightly.  I spun around and grabbed the aluminum foil from the top shelf.  You know how tight things are in there right?

Balsamicus Interruptus?



When I started to pull the big box of aluminum foil out, oh and we need more foil since the box is almost empty...

I guess we're going to head out after dinner?

Yep!  The bottom of the box hit the top of the bottle.  My little "dribble" top that is on there to dribble the stuff out on my hoagies...

Caught it with the box did you?

Well, I did manage to stop the fall!

But not completely, right?

Exactly.  My palm caught the dribble spout and held it in place just short of the time I needed to drop the box of aluminum foil on the floor and re-grab the bottle with the other hand.

Moose in a china shop strikes again!

You could say that.  Be careful in the kitchen, that floor eats glass but your feet don't.  I vacuumed up as much as I could but it still crunches.

I'll keep Rack out of there.

Don't worry about him, he's been hiding since lunch yesterday and hates the kitchen anyway!   Oh and the rest of the bricks got here.  It is entertaining to watch a Fed (arrow) Ex Truck make a three-point turn on the little street without knocking over the mailbox!

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