A Nun Was Sitting - Humor

Sorry about the Caps on this one.  It came to me from Velma in a rather nice font that won't work on the web all in caps.  Translated onto here and it's all big and SHOUTY and I'm just not going to type it all back in.

The story is cute none the less!

Thanks Velma!


Subject: A NUN WAS SITTING

A  NUN WAS SITTING AT THE VICTORIA AIRPORT, WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CALGARY. SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME.'

SHE  WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT  HER NICKEL  IN ; OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, 'YOU  ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS,  AND YOU ARE GOING TO CALGARY .'

THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ :'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CALGARY AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE..'

THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, 'I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE.' SHE SAT BACK DOWN.

FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT  THINKING, SHE OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND STARTED PLAYING  BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.? SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE  MACHINE, THINKING,'THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'

BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CALGARY AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND.'

NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG, AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE.'  BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED, AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.

ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE. SHE SAID TO HERSELF, 'THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'

SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE; PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL AND ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT.  IT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CALGARY'