You know, this is an interesting thought. How to protect your home. I think just being the crazy neighbor helps too but hey, if you want to give this a go, let me know how it turns out.
Kevin decided to share this with me, so have a groan with us...
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 -16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with an old, well-read copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.