A Guy Was In a Cave
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure.
He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out.
The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double."
The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion."
The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions.
The man said "I would like a million dollars."
The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars.
Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
So a Woman Goes To the Airport
A woman gets to the airport and picks up her boarding pass and passport, and makes it through the terminal to the boarding gate.
The attendant there asks to see her fying information, and she realizes that between the terminal and the boarding gate, her boarding pass has gone missing.
"Oh Crap!" she says.
"Ma'am I must see the boarding pass for you to get on the plane" he says.
She replies "You know I really dont need it, my seat is 32-B. I remember because its also my bra size"
The attendant looks at her briefly and insists "Ma'am I have to see that Pass."
She huffs and replies "I'll try and find it, but I know this would be a whole different story if my seat was 36-D".