Saturday, September 6, 2014

The Last of the Mommy, Mommy! Jokes!

Mommy, Mommy! How do lions make love?
I don't know dear, all your father's friends are Rotarians...

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy bent over and crying?
Shut up and eat your hot dog!

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Shut up, Albert....

Mommy, Mommy! Sally won't come skipping with me.
Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a big head?
Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?
You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.

Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Shut up and get back in the sack!

Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't?
Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!

Mommy, Mommy! Don't push me towards the elevator shAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much.
All right, you can take another slice.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do they call me spastic at school?
Shut up and take your legs out your pockets.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost heap.
Shut up and keep eating.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like fishing.
Shut up and stop squirming.

Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
Shut up. I'm in the bathroom, slide her under the door.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
Can Granny take me?
Her hand shakes.

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