Monday, February 16, 2015

Sunny With A Chance of Heavy Snowbirds According to Siri

Weekend days, when they're quiet, have a rhythm to them.

May as well get things baked for the week, cleaned, vacuumed, and so forth.

But if I am sitting down, doing my own thing, I eventually get holes bored through me by twin brown eyes.   That would be my bored dog.

Fine.  But it's too cold to go outside.  After all it's not even gotten into the 60s.

Winter in South Florida.  We know who you snowbirds are.  You're wearing shorts.  It's 66 degrees.   It gives us an excuse to break out the leather jackets for two or three weeks, then the air conditioning comes back on.

After breakfast is done and the dishes are put away, if we're going to be home, we put on the heater.  Enough to give it a hot-foot back to normal.

The house will hold the heat for a while until the sun gets high enough to go back outside and see what the dog is doing behind the shed.

Just don't step in it, he's usually going through the wormhole to his other family.

Standing in the sun, I get curious.  As long as I'm warming my bones, I'm fine.  Just like any other iguana I suppose, I'll thaw in full sun, freeze in the shade.

I pull the phone out of my pocket, get out of the glare by moving the sun behind a handy well placed palm tree.  "Weather" I bark at the slab of electronics.  Better not drop it in the pool.

"The weather is sunny and 66 degrees!".

Well isn't that nice.  The weather here is the same temperature as the pool.  The pool water is warmer than the water out of the cold tap in the bathroom of my old house on top of the hill in Philadelphia's Chestnut Hill.  How do I know?  The cold water tap was never really over 60 there unless it was summer. 

Ok, I'm curious...

"Weather Philadelphia"  Barked again at the slab.

"The weather in Philadelphia will not be very nice" 

Judgemental cow.   Some people actually enjoy that stuff.

"It will be down to 3 degrees and heavy snow".

Oh Really?  I use a different app to tune in the All Commercials All The Time News Station in Philly.  They even got worse at KYW.  The Commercials are advertising the commercials which pass for news content these days.  At one point it was three commercials deep.

No wonder why people can't listen to an all news station for very long.  It's all commercial garbage and very little actual content.  I don't need to know what your news desk is sponsored by, raise your rates, and cut the commercial load.

Closed the app.  Why bother.  One quick surf will get me the info I needed.

Yep, Sunny with a chance of Heavy Snowbirds.

Why do I call it that?   Give it about 3 days to a week.  When it snows in the Northeast, Philly but also places like Boston, Hartford, Baltimore and others, people are locked in at home.  The day before they hit the supermarkets and bought Milk, Eggs, and Bread.

I did it myself.  Breakfast was French Toast made from the Milk, Eggs, and Bread we all binge bought the day before.  Got to use that crap up!

Next meal after that was lunch.  Drag the grill out and make burgers.  It didn't matter that it was snowing, you could show your contempt at that Mother, Nature, by making up a burger in the side yard and freezing the extra.

Freezing being the key redundant word. 

A little cheese on mine, please, and no the rolls don't need to be toasted since I made them earlier.  Yes, homemade rolls for the burger because it would warm up the kitchen and the rest of the house.  Tomorrow is the cookies if we're still snowed in.

Dinner was leftover burgers or pancakes.  The griddle was large enough to do both.

But the snow would melt, the roads would be cleared, and you could get in the car and drive to the fabled area below the I-4 line where it doesn't snow, and below Clint Moore Road in Boca Raton where the USDA says it will never freeze.

10 miles more and you are in my town looking for parking. 

Have some French Toast.  You must be hungry.  We'll have burgers later.  There are fresh rolls in the freezer.

Stay warm.  It's only 66 out there!

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