A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen
you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball
hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw
you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the
enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the
surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were
in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were
flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an
eye just from some bird poop!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."