A Pastor is Speaking In A Regular Church Service
One person is sleeping amidst the church crowd.
The pastor says "Whoever
would like a place in heaven, please stand."
Everyone except the
sleeping person stands.
"Whoever would like a place in hell, please
The sleeping guy wakes up, only hearing the 'please stand'.
then stands up and says "Pastor, it looks like we're the only two
A Walk Through Tennessee
I was walking through Tennessee, and I came upon a cabin. There was a
man sitting on the porch with a big bottle in front of him.
over to me, "Hey boy, get over here."
Pointing to the bottle, he asked,
"You know what this is?"
"I don't know."
"It's moonshine you idiot. Why
don't you take a drink?"
"No thanks" I said.
All of a sudden he
pulled out a pistol and pointed it at me. "If you don't take a drink,
I'll I'm going to shoot you!"
Terrified, I took a drink. It was the worst
thing I ever tasted. It burned going down, I thought I was immediately
going to die or throw up.
"Good stuff, aint it?" He said.
handed me the pistol. "Now you point that gun at me so I can take a
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