A Pastor is Speaking In A Regular Church Service And A Walk Through Tennessee

A Pastor is Speaking In A Regular Church Service

One person is sleeping amidst the church crowd.

The pastor says "Whoever would like a place in heaven, please stand."
Everyone except the sleeping person stands.

"Whoever would like a place in hell, please stand."

The sleeping guy wakes up, only hearing the 'please stand'.

He then stands up and says "Pastor, it looks like we're the only two standing."



A Walk Through Tennessee

I was walking through Tennessee, and I came upon a cabin. There was a man sitting on the porch with a big bottle in front of him.

 He called over to me, "Hey boy, get over here."

Pointing to the bottle, he asked, "You know what this is?"
"I don't know."
"It's moonshine you idiot. Why don't you take a drink?"
"No thanks" I said.

 All of a sudden he pulled out a pistol and pointed it at me. "If you don't take a drink, I'll I'm going to shoot you!"

Terrified, I took a drink. It was the worst thing I ever tasted. It burned going down, I thought I was immediately going to die or throw up.

"Good stuff, aint it?" He said.

 Then he handed me the pistol. "Now you point that gun at me so I can take a drink."