Happy Birthday, Old Man, Here's Your Cake

Since I am the baker in the friend group, I was elected to make a birthday cake.

I have a bullet proof recipe.  It is from the Great Depression and I have featured it on my blog before.  The Buttercream frosting is, again, bullet proof.  They both are on the same link.

Who knows who is using this in a commercial environment since it is so simple that you could hand the ingredients and the recipe to a child and they would make it work.  It tasted like the dark chocolate cakes you can pick up in many places from The Big Boy bakeries all over the US, and I would wager elsewhere.

Weird recipe list since there are no eggs and it uses vinegar.  It's actually a vegan cake but it is one of the best cakes I have come across.

On the other hand, since it used my dark cocoa that I happened to have on hand, it was a thirsty beast.  I added extra milk to that Buttercream recipe to get it soft and smooth like we like it.  In fact instead of using two tablespoons of milk on the icing, which was above the original recipe, I used three tablespoons and it came out creamy and fudgy.

So the frosting is not vegan but "vegetarian", I the butter in the Buttercream was the real stuff.  I'm not vegan or vegetarian, so I'd say you can always figure out a substitute.  Margerine?  Coconut Oil?  Dunno.  The icing faithfully following the recipe was amazing!

But it was on the small size since I used a single amount of the recipe.  

When I made it later for the person's party, it was doubled.  My Bundt Cake Pan is rather large.

After all, he joins the rest of them.  Senior Citizen.  Dead Flowers and Black Balloons.  Sort of suits since that cocoa was the Ghirardelli's Extra Dark and tasted wonderful.

If you really want to try this, and you should, get the good cocoa.  The stuff that we are all used to just does not have the flavor you want. 

Oh and double the recipe.  You will get two layers for the cake.  You will thank me later!

Happy Birthday Pat

Happy Birthday, Pat.

By today, you will ggt The Box.

You know, that box I was talking about last week.

Three kinds of cookies, and maybe more.  Depends on whether I found anything else to toss in there.  Everything was baked by hand.

We've been doing this for years, the back and forth of boxes of goodies.

The day itself?

Well here's what went down that Saturday.

I got up late, and since I was half asleep from taking Melatonin to sleep, I was groggy.  A double mug of full Real Coffee.  You know, that bag of beans you see?  Guatemalan Estate Grown Antigua Huehuetenango roasted to just before Second Crack.

What that gibberish means is that it's a Medium Roast, full flavored and complex.  The bitter has been roasted out.  A Central American Coffee is never to be roasted dark, it kills the flavor.

Anyway, it's all for you, on your day.  Or about a week before your day.

We've been in the house working on furniture, playing Bollywood music and having a great time listening to bouncy stuff we couldn't actually understand.  Good day for it.  Saturday.  Almost dinner time at this point, there has been so much to do.

The last of the coffee will be roasted soon and bagged for the trip.

Oh coffee.  There is a rule of Fifteens:

15 minutes Ground.
15 days Roasted.
15 months Green.

Grind the beans and brew within 15 minutes for peak flavor,
Roast the beans and grind within 15 days for peak flavor,
15 months to roast the Green Beans.

or something like that.  So don't save it, after all The Holidays are coming, and there is bound to be more.

Happy Birthday Pat!

2203 Posts? Yep, it kept ticking for six years

This blog.  It's been a part of me for six years. 

I had to actually go back and check.  Gees, since July 30, 2009. 

I started it with a hello world post.  Everyone seems to.  You find your way back to it if you are interested.

I actually found that I enjoy writing.  I do get wordy, some of these posts are over 1200 words.  Almost all of them are off the top of my head.

Things got slower after a while.  You know, that New Blog Smell wore off.  I was writing about things that happened here in Wilton Manors, and the City Government scene.  I had to stop going to the commission meetings after a while, they were going well into the night and frankly I fall asleep at 10pm on a late night.  Doing that in the commission chambers when the meeting ended at 11pm would be sending the wrong message.

And I am actually quite in awe of the job that the commissioners do here, on average.  If you pay attention to your own city government, you'll find a few rotten apples here and there and a couple decisions you can't stand.

No comment there about specifics.

But since this is an "Anniversary Post" for the 2200th posting that happened over the weekend, I figured I'd do the old school Top Ten List of all times.  Since everyone seems to hit the same postings over and again, why not?

So from the most popular post to the 10th most popular post, here it is.

Most popular post:  The Gold Medal Flour Biscuit Recipe.  Trust me, this is an excellent recipe, I use it all the time when I want to show off.  If I really want to show off, I make home churned butter by putting the cream in the food processor and running it for 5 minutes or until I have butter and buttermilk in there.  Works like a champ!

#2:  Two Cycle Engine Repair - I replaced a primer bulb on a weedeater and apparently I did a good job of it since I still use the machine, 4 years later.

#3:  Simply Hired and the User Experience -The website simplyhired.com is not one of my favorites, and I wrote why and showed why they need to change.  They did incorporate a few changes of mine, and continue to change.

#4:  Puns and One Liner Weekend - A List of puns.  I really debated long and hard about posting Jokes here.  Then I realized that people actually enjoy the silly things and this blog gets hit heavily for them.

#5: GFS Marketplace Review - GFS Is a Wholesale marketer of foods and restaurant supplies.  They also sell directly to the public.  I'm quite happy with the store, but their coupons truly annoy me.  The software that they use to create the coupons, on your PC, require that software be installed.  Since nobody has told me what that does on my machine, I can't say I trust the software.  BUT the place is really quite good, and the staff is friendly.

Rounding out the rest of the top 10:

#6:  An Impatiens Flower Picture - This variety is no longer sold and went extinct.  Impatiens are now larger.

#7:  Jewfish Creek Bridge Picture - The view you get when you enter the Florida Keys.  This is what I think of as the "border" although I may not be technically correct.

#8: Canning 1, Pineapple 0 - Although I am a good cook, sometimes my recipies don't work!

#9:  Hotmail Annoyance: Turning off Hotmail's former interface behavior of hotkeys.  I hated hotmail, and I hatie Outlook so much more.  Microsoft has turned evil since Ballmer left.  I can't believe I am saying nice things about Ballmer since he was the punchline to a joke but there you have it.

Finally

#10: Sister Mary Ann's Gasoline - Yes, another joke.  Apparently loads of folks liked her story!

Celebrating Craig's Birthday by the Sea

There has to be a reason, a good one, to drive 100 miles.

Actually it was drive 100 miles, get stuck in traffic for a solid hour at a walking pace, see some beautiful scenery, and finally end up slightly lost.

Yes, we had GPS.  But we had been there before.  We also knew where we were going, but like the saying goes "Not all who wander are lost".

While I'm dropping the old hackneyed sayings, sometimes the journey is the destination.

Plus I really do like going for a ride in the car.

Next time, we bring Rack, I promise.

You see, Craig came down.  He's a great friend.  We have known each other for years now, probably safe to say decades.  Knowing he's from up North, way up North actually, and had never been South of Orlando before, I had to get him to touch toes to the Keys.

I know of a great restaurant down there.  We all do if we go there enough, so I'll save its name.   Why am I not telling you?  Take me there and I will, but it was crowded enough.  It sits just on the South side of the key, on the water, in a cove.  Ok, so I have described about half of the restaurants in the Keys, from Key West to Key Largo and every place in between, haven't I?

Good.

You're looking at the view I had for lunch on Sunday.  I purposely put my arm on the railing, in the sun.  Just the right one.  I wanted a little bit of tan.   I can still see one arm darker than the other a couple days later, and I wasn't looking to sit on a beach. 

We sat there, I had my Fish and Chips (Mahi Mahi, actually), and a bottle of some rather excellent beer, and some incredible conversation with Craig, Kevin, the waitress, and some of the surrounding tables.  There was, typical to the Keys, plenty of things to watch that were natural.  Just below us were some small fish, and a fish I kept calling a Grouper.  It could have been a Grouper, but might not have been.  That doesn't matter, it would have made a great meal for two from the size of it. 

The children around us were thankfully well behaved, and I have no doubt that the waitress would have followed the instructions of the sign on the bar "Loose or Unattended Children will be fed to the Tarpon".

Keep your kids quiet, and at your table.  No matter how much you love them, others will find them annoying.

But we sat there taking in a 2 hour lunch watching the boats come in.  This was one of those places that while you're enjoying the jazz brunch, debating whether the singer is lip synching or not, and having fun telling R-Rated stories to the waitress, time goes on around you.  I'm not the kind of person who is used to sitting tight for a meal, I tend to be one of the first to finish and one of the first to want to leave.  But for once I was content to sit there and watch the little boats come by. 

Lucky dogs on that one there.  There were two.  One stayed with the owners, the other got bored and went back to the boat and curled up under the shade.  I'm with the dog, it would have been a great place to kick your feet up and watch things go by, slowly, at the Keys pace.

Having finished our main course, the waitress brought Craig a slice of Key Lime pie, and another waitress and the Jazz Singer to sing him a happy birthday while he sat there under the umbrella, smiling away.

You have to admit, if you're going to take two hours to get to lunch, sit in a 20 mile backup, and have lunch by the water, this was a great way to do it.

So, Craig, if you're looking for something to do on your next birthday, I know a great restaurant, by the water, with an amazing waitress, good food, interesting lip syncing or singing (we're not completely sure), and an entertaining view.

We'd like to have you back.  Besides, it gives me an excuse to take a good friend to a jewel that I won't readily tell people where it is.

Happy Blog Day, 2000 Postings Or So

Yeah so I might be a day or two early on this.

There are a couple posts already in the chamber so I'll do this today.

2000 postings.  The blog has been around for a while.  Who knows how much longer.  Basically as long as I have ideas, I'll post them.

A view inside my empty head about this though.  I make it a point to not strictly "Reblog" things.  Copy and paste.   If I do something, the recipes are an excellent example, I try my best to add to them and explain how I did it.

Otherwise it's just navel gazing and narcisistic.

But, people do love those recipes.

I have a small "first read" audience.   I haven't been posting it in my own facebook feed because frankly that sort of thing gets boring.  I have a group with some people who wanted to be a part of it.  They'll get my blather and a direct link to today's article.

The "second read" audience fall into my grasp mainly via Google and other search engines.

That shows in what the top five articles are for the blog since I started.

And I do try very hard not to revisit topics unless I can add something to it.  I got something wrong?  Time for a new post.  Got something right?  Let it rest.  Dunno, maybe that's just the way I am

The Gold Medal Biscuit recipe.  Apparently people are searching for biscuits and coming here to read the recipe.  Probably the best biscuit I have ever made.  The secret is in the butter.  Now, if you want to make something obscene, toss a biscuit in the skillet and pan fry them like a donut.


Mmmm Donuts!


Two Cycle Engine Repair.  Say what you will about this blog, I've got depth.  If I can write about replacing the bulb on a string trimmer one day, a recipe the next, and photography the third... well you get the idea.  I'm That Guy.  Show me an adult man who doesn't at least glance at the pile of crap your neighbor tosses out and wonders if he can fix that thing, and I'll show you a man who has lost his soul.

That goes for many women I know too.

Simply Hired User Experience.  Believe it or not, people get paid quite a lot to do this sort of systems analysis and user experience analysis on large websites.  In the case of Simply Hired, they changed their format.  It still stinks.  Maybe I will write another blog article on how clunky it is now that they reskinned it to look all "kewl!".

Or not.

The Impatiens Picture.  I do a lot of Photography.  Or you could say I do a lot of what passes for Photography if you're a hack at it.  No matter what you think of how well, or how badly I take pictures, this single picture is the most popular one here in Ramblingmoose and http://www.southernmostmoose.com 

I have been told that all of the small Impatiens have died.  Literally, everywhere.  The same flower exists but they're a taller variety.  The little ones everyone loved?  Gone.

And finally, rounding out my top five:

The Jewfish Bridge picture in the Florida Keys. This is the first "real" bridge you hit when you're going to the Keys.  It's dramatic and a beautiful view.  It's really difficult to not get a picture that you will like.  Then you roll into Key Largo and start about 100 miles worth of driving in slower highways before you get to Key West.  My suggestion is to time it to hit the Seven Mile Bridge at sunset in a convertible. 

No, you may not borrow my Jeep.

That's it for today.  Enough navel gazing.  I don't have any oranges left.

As for how much longer will I keep doing this?  As long as I have time, ideas, and things I think may be interesting to my friends and family.  I don't guarantee it will go on forever.  I don't even guarantee it will happen tomorrow, after all I did  miss a day once. 

One Single Day.

If you really do enjoy this, feel free to complement me.  If you've got an idea for a topic, let me know.  If it sparks my curiosity, I'll write about it.

Like the jokes.  The "first read" audience generally does not like my jokes.  Guess what?  They're popular.  The number 7 article is about Puns and One Liners.

So I'll keep posting those on the weekends for now.  If I get a better idea, then I can always push the jokes off for a day!

Happy Unbirthday or Why I Became 110 Years Old on Facebook

I admit it, I read too much.  It's part of staying up to date in any sort of technical career.

I came across article after article about sharing online.  People share too much data about themselves. 

What they're wearing, well that's kind of harmless right?   No, not really if you have a stalker.  Look for that person in that shirt over there and ...

What they are cooking for dinner?  I'm doing that all the time, but apparently I'm doing it right.  Why?  Well you can see what kind of furnishings you have in that kitchen.  Is there a house alarm on the window?  Good, you can break in there.

Oh look, beautiful vacation pictures!  They went to Hawaii, they won't be back for a week.  Nice TV in the living room in the other picture. 

Not Anymore, Inspector Clouseau.

Get the picture?  Or rather you don't?

It was one after another. 

An article was warning people about putting controversial items up on their Facebook feeds.  After all, if you are radical, your next company or even your current one won't want you.  Nobody wants someone who rocks the boat, right?

I've been self editing that sort of thing for years.  I hardly ever post anything that is "out there", usually everything is supportive, and I'm liking things more than anything else. 

That's a problem too.  If you just Like things on Facebook, it has been shown that things get "weird".  Your feed starts to show things that are more intense than the things you actually like.   For example, if you like animal causes like the local SPCA or Rescue, and I definitely do, you start seeing things for PETA.  PETA is "controversial" to many people because of their "radical" vegan outlook. 

"Nothing with a face" is their motto, and animals first.  They go a bit too far for me, I'm a carnivore, still.  But I do support that they are out there. 

You see the point, things keep getting more "radicalized" if you like absolutely everything.

One of the "data points" that came up recently was about identity and credit card theft.  If "they" have a few things like your name, birth date, and a few other obscure things, "they" can get you a credit card. 

For themselves.

How do they get that? 

You used to get a phone call from someone saying they were from the "Credit Card Bureau" and they would want to "verify a few details".  You're done if you answer that question. 

First off, YOUR credit card company would never call for that.   I have been called by one questioning whether I was really in Florida once, but yes, I was at the beach and it is a lovely day and I wanted to get something in a shop, so please do put that charge through.

One other time, it was after I ordered something from www.Rakuten.com and almost immediately started getting weird charges.  Five Minutes Later I got a call from my credit card asking me if these were valid.  Nope, and thanks!  They stopped that in the bud and I can not recommend www.Rakuten.com as a result

So one of the most important details they said you should never share?

Your Birthdate.

I immediately went into Facebook.  Facebook's business is getting information from you in a "soft" matter.  It is what they are doing when you click on Like. They are building a profile of you.

It is what you signed up for, and personally I am OK with that end of it.

What I didn't like was when I went in to hide my birthday as a recommendation of that security article, I couldn't. 

Facebook would not let you hide your birthday from "everyone".  You had to keep it visible to your friends.  That was the most limited you could go.  Mind you there are a lot of friends in Facebook that you collect through the years of use, and by now it really is "Years" of use, that you really don't know.  Some of them you will never meet, and some of those that I will never meet I consider that a shame.  Some really neat people I have "met" over the years and "friended" that I will never run into, or never run into again.

Others, Who knows what they really are.  They go silent or something happens and they drop away.  You may have said something inappropriate or what have you. Can't really say that happened much to me, but it does happen.

So I changed it.

I moved it from my real birthday to the oldest possible date I could.

January 1, 1905.

I'm expecting a nasty email from them at any day now.

So if you wished me a happy birthday yesterday, thank you, I know you care.  Or I know you had a knee jerk reaction to seeing the thing. 

I do know that those that wished me happy birthday yesterday were those who I know well, and I did appreciate the well wishes then as I appreciated them and their well wishes every day.

But it's not my actual birthday and I am not 110 years old.

If I have to change it again, I think I will make myself 32.  I met my partner then, life was looking up, things were going into a time that just kept getting better.

I'll stop there, I don't want to share too much.

But Happy Unbirthday to me!

Was I right to do this?  I've been told I'm getting paranoid.  Perhaps I am.  I don't know.  But I feel good about "This".

If you are a friend and you perhaps feel a bit manipulated, I apologize completely. 

My bad.
Mea Culpa.

It was not my intent.

Happy Birthday Pat

Somewhere in the beautiful and fabled land of Cherry Hill, New Jersey, there lives a woman. 

You may know her, but you probably do not.  If you don't that is your loss, because I do.

She's my sister.  If you do know her on Facebook, wish her a happy birthday, I know she will appreciate the thought.

I won't put her picture up here, she never liked it when I took them of her so I don't have too many to share.

A couple weeks ago, I sent her a "Care Package" for her birthday.  I purposely did it early.  Packed it chock full of goodies that I know she likes.

About a half pound of my best home-roasted coffee.  Ground to Espresso Grind, roasted to Second Crack - A Full City Plus or French Roast if you know the lingo.

There were three jars of homemade jam in there.  Cherry Jelly, Lemon Curd, and Key Lime Curd.  The Curds are a recipe that I posted a while back.  It works great with any citrus fruit that I have tried it with, including Grapefruit. 

There was also a birthday card in the box.  I wrote a note for her, by hand of all things!  Yeah, really, I write on here sometimes as much as a thousand words a day and I actually put Pen to Paper and scrawled out something for her to read.

I also tossed some random things in there because I do that sort of thing.  Just a few things I thought would make her scratch her head and wonder whether I have lost my mind, because I generally have. 

I'm sure it all made her smile.

The reason why I sent it early was so that it would be there roughly at her husband Mike's birthday as well.  Mike's a great guy, and I have to say I was truly happy when they got together and built a relationship, then a marriage, then a life together.

Thanks Mike for all of that.

So Pat, nothing else is coming in the mail, but if there is any of the jam or the curds left, I suggest a little on a toasted English Muffin with some cream cheese.  It's excellent.

Betty, Birthday, Briny's

I knew that today would be a bit off.  Getting up at 4AM means that this afternoon will be a bit draggy, so when I got back from the extra early dog walk, I put up a supply of extra strong iced tea. 

Good for what ails ya!

I wandered out into the predawn gloom and said hello to my neighbor Vern as he went out to pick up his paper. 

Going out into the city, I was mentally scratching my head.  Trying to bootstrap your mind at stupid o'clock simply isn't always successful.

Rack didn't care, we did a lap around town.  He's getting used to his collar and now thinks it's great fun to tow me.  Nope.  Won't work.  I'm too big.

During the dog walk, I tend to let my mind wander free.  My feet are, may as well let my head go.  I didn't have anything pressing to write about, the weekend wasn't terribly exciting.   I did bake a cake, but since it was a mix, it didn't bring anything interesting to the table.

Good cake though, the addition of a moist sheen of cocoa mixed with cake batter gave it an iced look without the extra four hundred thousand calories of buttercream.

Getting back into the house I started to get into the routine.  I walked into the bedroom and saw the picture of Betty and her two friends in the back of Kevin's Mercedes on the rainy day we went to the Dixie Pig for barbecue.  That story was so outrageous, and the picture so good, that I considered writing about it again.

Coming into the Kitchen, I prepared something for the crock pot.  Probably it will be done by lunch since it is so early a start.  I was thinking about Betty's 95th birthday and knew she would appreciate the meal.   Chicken Tikka with Yogurt, Raisins, Corn, Green Beans and either Rice or Quinoa.  She loves spicy food, and Indian is one of her favorites.

Slopping the chicken juice onto my clothes made for an early shower and probably an early laundry.

I walked back into the bedroom and saw the picture collage there.  Mom's professional picture, the view from where my brother in law Mike proposed to my sister, and the picture of Betty and the "Golden Girls".

Settling down at the laptop and looking through the pictures I have here, I realized that I did have something to share. 

Betty does like food, her Italian meals have always been excellent, although I think we could give her a run for her money with the red sauce we have been making lately.  Start with roasted Roma Tomatoes...

One time we took her to Briny's Irish Pub.  It's a mainstay here, and up until the time of the picture, you could always get an excellent Fish and Chips.   We stopped going because the chef changed and the food got less cutting edge and more mass market.  How tough is it to make french fries, really?

As we were sitting there, Betty had an excellent view of the New River.  We watched the Andrews Avenue bridge go up and down a couple times as we had our meal.   As I'm playing with the camera, I placed it on the table and told her to smile.  She looks like an ad for the place.  Showing her the picture in the little 2 inch screen, she squinted and said "Oh no! You can't show that picture! It makes me look like I'm a drunk!".  No, not really it makes you look like you're enjoying yourself, and I think that was a diet soda.   Four years ago, it's a bit difficult to remember what someone else was eating at a meal in a pub.  I'm pretty sure that I went for the fish and chips with a Guinness but I'm predictable that way.

Since I wasn't able to get anywhere near her in New York, the closest being the North side of town over the weekend on a dog walk, it was a subconscious celebration for me.  I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to get back up there at this rate.

Birthday cake, Spicy Chicken, and a Beer for us tonight.   We can't be there, but we can be there in spirit.

Happy Birthday Betty, 95 and counting!

Happy Birthday Kevin. Here's Your Cake!

Ok, so it is a slightly wrecky two layer chocolate cake, but BOY was it ever good!

It's our thing here.  I make a three layer cake.  I freeze two layers.  I Ice one layer and turn that into dessert.  That way we get three different half cakes and they're all fresh. 

Yes, I have indeed found a way to "Right-size" a cake.

Why Pink?  Burma-Shave!  I don't know, I just saw that little bottle of red food color number whatever and thought why not?

Now to all you cake decorators out there, and you know who you are, the reason why the icing is uneven is because I'm crap at decorating.   The other thing is that you should always chill your icing before you put it on the cake.  Not to freezing, but "room temperature" is not the best idea for Buttercream Frosting.  The top layer slid a little bit in a tectonic shift that made it look like a San Andreas Fault fragment relocated to South Florida.

I'll set the lawn chair upright in a second.

Anyway, it was damn good even if I do say so myself.  A bit too sweet icing if you ask me, but this is not my cake.  I also have enough icing leftover to do it again in all its Pink Glory.  If it were for me, I'd make up some chocolate ganache and turn the whole bloody thing into a giant brown truffle, but that's not mine even if I will enjoy half of it's pinkness.

Ladies, sing with me the song of your people:  "Mmmm Chocolate Truffles!".

All hail the pink half wrecky-cake!  Nom Nom Nom.

Happy Birthday Pat!

It's that time again!

It's time for Pat's Birthday!

This is what she's getting! 

A Box of Random Goodies!


That is if the box made it.   I sent it parcel post last week.  Went up to Oakland Park P.O. on Dixie Highway, just over the other side of the line from Wilton Manors.

Nice folks up there, they always ask what smells so good in the box.

I tell them but I'm not saying until Pat gets the box.

I'll probably hear something got crushed.
It usually leaves her scratching her head as to What on Earth was I thinking?

Something Granular,
Something Blue,
Something Baked,
Happy Birthday to You!

Happy First Birthday, Rack!

According to our admittedly sketchy math, this is Rack's Birthday.

Not an Earth-shattering event, but something for me and mine to keep in mind.

Lettie, my old McNab dog passed in April, and I found Rack at the Dog Liberator's about a week later.

Losing Lettie, I was basically "ordered" to "go get another dog" by Kevin.  It helped me get through my own feelings of loss.   She was the Canine Ambassador to Snowbirds in Wilton Manors, even if she really didn't care for the attention toward the end.

We finally see Rack at The Dog Liberator, April 21, 2013

We picked up Rack a week after we contacted Giselle.  The timing was for the best since she was able to help him come out of his shell enough for us to continue the work on the recuperation of this dog's shattered psyche. 

Smart dogs don't take well to shelters.  They cower and hide in the back of the cage and end up being put to sleep in much higher proportion than a less smart dog.  McNabs are the smartest around, and other similar breeds like Border Collies, Poodles, German Shepard Dogs, and the like will suffer the same fate.

Since we got him, he's grown much more assertive.  He doesn't hide in the crate when the train passes by a half mile away, but he still hides from the trash trucks all the same.  He still doesn't like Wilton Drive and all that noisy traffic, but he's no longer shivering in abject terror when we get there.   It's fear but it's more manageable and with time he'll do well.

Whatever he went through before he ended up in the right hands with Gisele and finally us, did leave him with a fear of strangers.   We can manage that, it isn't necessary that some snowbird gets to meet my dog.  Most back off when I tell them "He Won't Let You" and leave the vague comment hang in the air.

He has discovered the joy of other dogs by leaping in mid air when he sees them a block away.   We've got to work on calming him down, silly puppy.

Giselle said that he was "About 7 Months Old" when we first spoke in April.   So I'm "doing the math".  That means that today would be close enough to a year old today.  We'll never know for sure, and this is a good a day as any.

There were a few stumbles when we got him.   It took a solid three months for us to get him fully dewormed and on food that he could tolerate.   Puppies don't always digest their food well so we were giving him probiotics and switching the foods around until we found one he could tolerate.   Wellness Puppy food made him have loose stools, and apparently that is common even if it is a high quality food.  We switched to Merrick and Orijen and both are excellent foods that he tolerates exceedingly well.

We won't be giving him "extra treats" today for his birthday, I don't want to clean up extra mess outside on our walks.  His regular food is fine in a Kong or a tennis ball with a slit in it.   Those two toys keep him busy for a half hour at a time!


So, if you're looking for a dog at the shelter, look extra long at that dog hiding at the back of the cage.  They may need a little extra care because of the shock they've been put through, but they're definitely worth it.

Happy Birthday and many more to come, Rack!

How Would You Like Some Questionable Cake - Picture

This Cake is Questionable!

This Cake LIES!  It's all LIES I tell ya!

I mean here's this cake.  It doesn't even have the common decency to be a full cake! 

It's Not ROUND! 

What is with those candles?  They are QUESTION MARKS!  I mean, Come ON! Question marks?  What are they supposed to say?  Is it for a birthday?  Is it some secret how old they are?   The candles aren't even NEW!  They were *GASP!* Burned Before!!!!!

Nobody just makes a Half of a Cake!  Sheesh! Two layers and not THREE?

And look at that icing... It's NOT CHOCOLATE!!!!!   It's Commercial Vanilla Icing that's brown to LOOK like Chocolate!  On top?  Rainbow Jimmies?  I bet they are tutti fruiti too just BECAUSE!

I'm so confused *grabs fork*  What's inside?  Orange Icing in the middle?  It doesn't taste like Orange!  It's ... More Vanilla?  At least the cake itself is still Chocolate...

And oh so very fresh and tasty too. 

Ok, I'll have the rest of that slice.

Happy Birthday Kevin - Picture

Happy Birthday, Kevin.  Enjoy your cake and here's some for tonight!

Sure, it's a quarter of a cake now.  The icing is "Commercial" and day glow orange.  It's still fresh and the good news is that there are two other layers in the freezer that can be Iced when you want more.

Scratch Cakes only stay fresh for about 2 days.  After that and you end up with something that really isn't that good.   So make up three layers, freeze two and serve one.  Three times the fun that way!

So everybody who reads this, say happy birthday to Kevin.  He'll enjoy it.  Even if you don't read this on his birthday, go ahead and wish him a happy birthday.  

Chocolatey Goodness at a Manageable Size

Yes, I right-sized a cake.

You see, a home made from scratch chocolate cake will not keep more than 2 days without turning dry and crumbly.   You really can't bring it back to life without a gallon of milk and even then it isn't great.

The recipe I use for cake will make two 9 inch layers or three 8 inch layers.  A while back I got another one of my patented brainstorms.  Why not freeze all but one layer and treat that last one as a cake?

One round layer didn't look right so I sliced it in half and made a two layer cake out of it.  Four generous slices made for a less-guilt birthday cake.

Since I made three layers and will make this cake into three separate "D" cakes, I'll get 12 slices out of it and not feel too bad about the results.  

Since it was half a cake or more like a third of a cake, we sang "Happy." and stopped.  Not the whole song, just the word "Happy".  It seemed enough.

The Jimmies are leftover from Halloween.  I've got this Warehouse Sized container of the things and they just don't get used up as fast as you'd expect.  There is enough for one or two more cakes at this rate.  D Cakes that is.

I've got the pictures of the before and during of the cake baking episodes so some day I may share the recipe.  It's really quite good even if every time I make the thing, I do it wrong but differently.

Happy Birthday just never quite says it enough when you have a freezer full of chocolate cake "discuses" wrapped in cling film.

How I Made Floofy White Icing For A Happy Freaking Birthday

Ok first off, here's the recipe for a standard three layer cake:

8 Cups Confectioners Sugar
1 Cup Vegetable Shortening
4 Tablespoons Softened Unsalted Butter
1 Teaspoon Salt
2/3 Cup Milk (I use 2% usually)
1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
1 Teaspoon Almond Extract

Add the milk a little at a time for consistency to the other ingredients in a large mixer and mix well.

Here's what I ended up doing -

First I ALWAYS mix the icing until it gets a lot of air into it.  It will actually get a sheen like a metallic paint.  Gives a lot more volume that way and it never fails.

Second make sure your butter is soft.  Room temp is best.

Third make sure you have all your ingredients before you start.  

Why did I say that?

We just got a pantry cabinet from Ikea.  Put the thing together.  I didn't know that the top part of the cabinet was the new, official home for the mixer parts.  It took me 15 minutes of checking the "Logical Places" for the parts like under the sink or under the oven where they had been for years.  Of course I did watch as they got moved to the cabinet, I really did... it just didn't register that I would ever really find a need for the blasted things again!  Out of sight out of mind!  Cue swearing while I actually find the mixer parts.

I added the 8 cups of confectioner's sugar to the mixer.  That's 2 pounds of sugar!  No wonder why people save a sugar coated frosted cake for a special occasion!

Add all the ingredients save the milk to the mixer.

Go to the refrigerator and realize that I had saved only a wee bit of the stuff for today.  Oops.  It turned out that I had a little more than an ounce of milk in the bottom of the container - 1/6 of a cup or 1/4 of what I needed.  

Cue some more swearing.

Realizing that I had about a pint of whipping cream in the refrigerator, I grabbed the carton gave it a sniff.  Ahhh! Still fresh! Since Heavy Whipping Cream is really just thick milk, that 2/3 cup milk ended up being a substitute.  1/6 cup milk, 1/6 cup water, 2/6 cup heavy whipping cream for a total of 2/3 cup of "milk".

All swearing aside, it turned out amazingly light and fluffy.  I would even call it Floofy.  You can add cocoa powder to get chocolate icing, but that can be tricky and you may have to add more milk to get the icing back to it's floofy best.  I've got those two containers full of icing that will go on the birthday cake once I get that made.

Since the milk just got delivered by a surprise visit from Kevin at lunch I really have to get started.  I've got three layers to bake, little circles of wax paper to cut and baking fun for this afternoon!

Happy Birthday Kevin

How would you like to have a dinner outside in a tropical garden next to a waterfall?

Would you mind if the waterfall was a "prefab" and from a fountain? 

You probably shouldn't mind since the place is absolutely gorgeous and lush and unlike anywhere else I have ever been before.

This weekend we celebrated Kevin's Birthday.  It was another trip to Mai Kai, which is a Polynesian restaurant near me over in Fort Lauderdale.  It's about 3 miles from the house and a world away.  They have their shows, and I have never seen them except by passing through the building on my way in or out.  Being as tall as I am, the building's decor which can best be described as below decks meets Polynesian kitsch, I walk through ducking my head through the beauty of the indoor waterfalls and out to the Lanai. 

The Lanai is open to the elements with a bamboo railing and palm frond accented roof.  The view we get is the one you see in this picture, and luckily for us they seem to seat us at the same table each time we go.  Coincidence of our habit of liking an early dinner and getting in just as they open.

I had the barbecued pork tenderloin that was cooked in the Chinese Oven.  It's a method that seems to be as if you have skewered your main course on a metal pike then hung it in a chimney.   The pork comes out amazingly tender, unlike anywhere else that I have ever had.

Have a "Barrel of Rum" to drink with, but don't drive home.  It actually lasted me through the meal and well into the evening after we had dessert of Chocolate Mousse Cake.

Redundant, yes I know,  someone with the long time nickname of Moose having a Mousse cake and so forth.  It was excellent and absolutely worth the calories.

Thank you Kevin for allowing me to share your uninterrupted company at the restaurant.  I truly enjoyed it.

One more week to the 20th Anniversary.  Wow!  I had better start baking!

Birthday Cake Saga - How Not To Take Pictures

Yeah... I'm almost done with this cake thing.  I had the last piece of it last night.

On the other hand, on Sunday, Kevin's birthday I got a phone call.

David is a friend.  We met about 25 years ago in Key West.  I went home, he moved in there and does Property Management as well as a long list of other odd jobs. Basically any friend of 25 years is one worth keeping so when he called with a simple request I said I'd do it.

He thought we should take a picture of the cake with Kevin and I. 

Pretty basic huh?  Still life?   Nope.

Step one.  Get Kevin out of bed.  It's his birthday, and he wanted to lay in.  Some time around, oh say 11AM, he finally got out of bed and I filled him in on the back story.  That morning I had finished icing the cake, and was just going to decorate it as you see in the picture.  David called with the picture request so go get cleaned up and presentable.  

Step two.  Get everyone presentable.   I got into the shower, and told Kevin it was his turn.  I busied myself finishing the piping on the cake with the prefab icing in a can.  It came with a set of four little nozzles and that way I wouldn't have to figure out where an Icing Bag was with tips to decorate the thing.  The letters were all there and in place, I just wanted to put a ring of little snowy looking things around the edge. 

Step three.  Have Lunch.  Kevin was still on his perch playing on facebook, looking out the door at the dog across the street that is basically tied to a fence all day barking, and some of the other things that go on in this quirky neighborhood.

Step four.  Kevin has finally gotten into the shower.  I begin to do the set up for the picture.  Funny how when you have a cake on a room divider that is waist high you find out how your camera equipment basically ... falls short.  The cake was about 4 feet off the ground when you place it on the glass cake saver my sister had given me years before.  So that means with a minimum focal length of 3 feet, the camera had to be at least 6 feet off the ground.  To get the picture of the two of us with the cake we would have to be in a specific angle, which means...

Step five.  Move all the paperwork, all the junk, and all the "desk toys" out of frame.  Picking up a living room full of junk and stashing it means that I'm cleaning house and making more heat.  The shower is getting extra humidity into the room.  I draw the blinds, turn on the air conditioning and start to pick things up. 

Step six.  Chill the cake.   This all has taken 2 hours and a half.  The cake is no longer "cool" and the icing does something I had never seen it do before.  The piping begins to run.  Kevin is still in the shower - that takes on average 20 minutes in itself... and I have a cake that is getting to look like someone exposed it to Mac Arthur Park.  Donna?  Is that you singing in the background....

Step seven... open the door to the refrigerator, walk into the kitchen with the cake and place it in the cleared shelf.

Step eight.  Swear loudly and give up in disgust.

You see what happened here was a quirk of my eyesight and inexperience of moving my "model" around.  I brushed the half melted piping against the refrigerator door.  Yep!  You guessed it I was screaming at everything from the refrigerator to the oven to Betty and her melty icing.   I was done.  The cake was not going to be pictured, other than the one set up shot.  If you look closely, my amateurish ring of white piping "blobs" around the edge had started to topple off the Death Edge of Cakey Goodness and down to the cliff below.   It was done.

Oh well, David, no pictures.   We'll try again this weekend.   You see, I have a 19th Anniversary to celebrate... and a cake to bake.   Went to GFS last night and got some confectioner's sugar and the rest I need to make some icing.   This time it will be a white cake with red and white jimmies.

Yes, they are called jimmies... this sprinkles nonsense has to go ... just like it is a Hoagie and not a sub or anything else....

Want some cake?  Here you go! 

Birthday Cake Saga - How Not To Make Black Icing

Ok, the last two days, you have heard the recipe.

The first recipe was the recipe for making the layers.
The second recipe was that for making nice fluffy icing.

Now, things get dark. 

Specifically I had a weird idea that this cake had to have Black Icing.  If you read some other blogs like Cake Wrecks, you will know they have a strong distaste for the stuff.  Black Icing has a nasty taste usually, it does weird things like pass through your body pretty much intact, and it is notoriously difficult to get right. 

I was determined to give my friend, Kevin, a black birthday cake for his 50th Birthday.  How bad could it be?  After all, what more apt a day would it be to get a black birthday cake than on your 50th birthday, or 40th or 30th... you get the picture.

Kevin had already gotten his AARP Letter, as you would have expected, and he wasn't too happy about being marketed a membership to a group that is a pressure group for senior citizens.  The man still has a lot of life left in him.  50 is the new 30 now anyway so he didn't really want to hear about it all....

Back to the icing.

The night before, while the cakes were cooling on racks, we went out to get some pet food for my parrot, and came up empty.  Walking from the pet store to the Publix supermarket next door, we then looked for food coloring.  I had seen plenty of it before, and this was a large Publix.  Unfortunately the rainbow of food color that they had did not include black.

We left empty handed and went to the local craft supermarket, the Pearl on Oakland Park Boulevard.   Getting there we were greeted with "Hello Pearl Customers, this store will be closing at 8PM in 15 minutes, please make your selections carefully". 

Marketing speak for "Get it and get out" I suppose, so we went on a hunt.  I had told him what I had in mind, and with a cringe he knew he had better come along.  It turns out that Cake Decorating in the home isn't as popular as it once was.  Who knew, people still bake at home don't they?

(Sound of crickets chirping)

Ok, I guess SOME people do, but not as many as there once was.  Politically correct descriptions aside, we asked and found out that Pearl was discontinuing their cake decorating supplies and what was left was "Over There".

Over there was back in the back under the stairs and rather dusty.  I did find some Black Candy Coloring as it was described and bought it.  At that point I had an evil look on my face, and a sheepish Kevin padding along beside me as we left.

The next day, I made the icing, and it turned out perfectly white.  That wasn't what we wanted, was it?

I began to add the coloring a drop at a time.  That didn't work.  You see it takes a LOT of coloring to make a cake look something approximating black.  I would say it is more like gunmetal grey but it worked. 

It also was very messy. 

There were spatters of black food coloring on my mixer that I won't get out for years.  There are spatters on the wall, there are spatters on the counters.  I found some of the stuff across the room on the electric range.  There were some black fingerprints on the Iced Tea container inside of the refrigerator.  I found some on the refrigerator, thankfully that was easy to remove due to it being stainless steel.  

Some of the stranger places I had found black food coloring finger prints were on the wall in the bathroom, the front door knob, the TV power button, the remote for the internet radio.  The stuff stained my shoes, and it got on my clothes. 

It is today, Wednesday.  I made that blasted icing on Sunday morning, early.  I STILL have the stuff under my fingernails. It is fading, to a deep blue so it doesn't look like I was arrested and sent in for fingerprinting any longer at least.

Ok, so Jen at Cake Wrecks is definitely right, Black Icing should be avoided at all costs.

On the other hand, I had a request to get a picture of the cake with Kevin ... that story will be saved for a later time... I've got some fingerprints to clean!

Birthday Black Cake Saga - The Icing

Yesterday I wrote the recipe of how to make a Chocolate Layer Cake from Scratch.  Today I have the icing for you.  This is one of those sugary icings.  It's on a yellowed handwritten page in a spiral bound notebook.  Plenty of stains on the page, so you know it has to be a good one.  On the other hand for the cake from yesterday, you will need to double this recipe.

Vanilla Icing

4 Cups 10x Sugar (I used Confectioner's Sugar)
1/2 cup Shortening
2 Tablespoons of Butter
1/2 teaspoon of Salt
1/3 cup of Milk (I used 2%)
1 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1/2 teaspoon Almond Extract
Optional: Add 8 Tablespoons of Cocoa Powder for Chocolate Icing

Start with the sugar in the mixing bowl, and add the dry ingredients.
Add the extracts to the dry ingredients, then start the mixer.


Cream the ingredients as best you can, and add in the milk slowly for consistency.


I tend to mix the ingredients until they are smooth and fluffy.  This icing will incorporate a lot of air into it and the more air into the icing you get, the lighter it will be.  Obviously a stand mixer is the best for this, but an electric hand mixer will certainly work.  Just like in the cake recipe, I tend to have a heavy hand with the flavors and with the creaming of the ingredients. 

Before you add any coloring, if you mix this icing a "long time" the icing will be very white, and will actually take on a sheen. 

Also remember that this recipe should be doubled for the cake recipe from yesterday.  You will basically need around 1 1/2 times the above amounts, but that varies based on how much air you incorporate into the mix.

I also double the vanilla and the almond but that's because I get the stuff in big bottles and I like a lot of vanilla flavor.

It's your basic cake icing.  If you make it with Cocoa, you may have to increase either the fats or the milk to make it moister - cocoa will soak some of the milk up resulting in a dry or thick icing. 

All that having been said, if you watch what you're doing, you'll find that this is an easy recipe to work with, and you will be able to get excellent results with some basic effort.   If you have a stand mixer, you can really get creative with timing and speeds.   You will also find that this works best if the icing is chilled in the refrigerator before going on the cake.

Happy Birthday Kevin

I won't tell you just what the age is but there is a five and a zero in it.  He's not 5 so keep guessing!

Kevin and I last night went out for dinner.  Partly courtesy of my Godmother Kathie and her husband Larry, we went to use the gift card at Grand Lux Cafe in Sawgrass Mills.  We could have went to any of three in nearby areas, this one was my idea as I wanted to get to see the mall.  I haven't been there in over a year, and it was going to be a night out.

We got to the mall around 5:30 and immediately went to try to find the place.  Murphy's law being what it is, we drove 3/4 of the way around the mall before we went and started cruising the parking lot.  You see the lot was slammed with cars. 

Kevin's normal comment is particularly appropriate "You know... we ARE in a recession you see!".  Ok, yes, but sometimes you just have GOT to get out and see other people.  Sawgrass being a destination mall in a resort city in high season is just going to be busy.

Cruising the lot for about another 15 minutes, we finally found parking "way off over there" near "Needless Markup".  Or basically as I usually call it "Coventry" ... or East Naples.

We got in, immediately got a table and were seated.  The portions were large for anyone else, although my Asian Chicken Salad was what I am used to having when I make my patented dinner salad in a mixing bowl which is around 2 quarts of "stuff".  Roughly.

Kevin got an excellent Black Angus Burger with fries, and I have to say his portions were generous as we were warned, but more "reasonable".  We're both big guys with high metabolisms so we thought it was fine.  A smaller person might want to consider forgoing dessert.

On the other hand you see dessert.  That dessert in the background was a bread pudding made from a cinnamon sticky bun.  Rightly sized and excellent, or so I have been told...

I didn't sample Kevin's because I was working on that massive slab of Red Velvet Cake.   The cake was simply excellent.  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was however, huge.  What I should have done was to have around 1/2 of the cake, then ask to take away the rest for today.  As a result it became a challenge for me to finish it.  I recommend the cake, as I did to the neighboring table, although I suggested that they split it between husband, wife and pre-teen daughter!

But finish it I did and that became the entertainment of the evening.  Both Kevin and I walking around feeling bloated with meals of size that we normally don't eat more than once a quarter.  While we are both big men, we are both reasonably fit. 

The mall presented an opportunity to walk some of our meal off, and it was needed.  On the other hand, the crowded parking lot meant a crowded mall.   It looked like the days before christmas in there as the place was crammed with people.  Oh well, it was literally for us, a once in a year opportunity. 

All in all it was a fun night, we did things we normally did and I got to spend time with Kevin in the mall. 

Happy Birthday, Kevin.

As I am writing this, at 10:30 AM we are both still digesting that dessert.  No breakfast for either of us!  On the other hand, dinner is cooking in the crock pot...